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I live in a different state from my loved one. How can I be supportive from a distance?
Talk to your loved one. Let him/her know you are supportive. Ask him/her how he/she is
doing. Ask him/her if there are specific ways you can be emotionally supportive. Regular
contact, even if it is by telephone, is an important expression of support.
How often should my loved one be attending 12-step meetings?
We recommend daily meetings for the first ninety days following discharge and a minimum
of four to seven weekly thereafter. We also recommend that family members attend at least
one AL-Anon/Nar-Anon meeting per week, and, if desired, one (only one) open AA/NA
meeting per week.
What are Return Visits?
Patients and spouses/significant others are invited back to TRC for two days to participate in
lectures and process groups. Return Visits are affectionately referred to as “tune-ups” or
“recharging of the batteries”. We recommend that alumni participate in a Return Visit ninety
days following discharge, again in six months, and then yearly thereafter. You can read
more about, and register for, return visits on our website: www.talbottcampus.com
During my loved one’s active addiction, he/she took medications from others’ medicine
cabinets. I fear that this behavior will continue. What should I do?
Discuss your fears and concerns with your loved one. Then, together, you can develop a
plan that will address your fears and concerns, and help keep your loved one safe. This
“safety plan” might include the following: asking in advance that medications be removed,
asking someone to check risky areas to make sure they are safe, or agreeing to not go into
the bathroom and other risky areas of the home by himself/herself.
I like to drink socially. Why can’t I do so around my loved one?
It is important that exposure to alcohol and drugs be kept to a minimum, especially during
the first several months of sobriety. It is for this reason that we recommend you not drink
around persons in early recovery, even if his/her drug of choice is not alcohol. This can be
re-evaluated annually.
We like to entertain. Why can’t I have alcohol in our home?
As stated above, the goal is to work toward minimizing exposure to alcohol and other drugs.
We cannot over-state the strength of our recommendation in this regard: that the home of a
loved one in early recovery be free of alcohol and drugs in order to be a “safe haven.”
What about special occasions, such as family celebrations, weddings and holidays?
Our concern about exposure to alcohol and other drugs also drives our recommendation to help persons in early recovery avoid exposure to situations where alcohol and other drugs will be present. For the person in early recovery, these situations are potentially very dangerous. We do, however, understand that sometimes it is important to attend special occasions. When these situations occur, talk with your loved one about them before they attend. Develop a “safety plan” for the event. The plan may include having a sober partner present at all times, agreeing to arrive at the event early and then leave early, or attending a 12 Step meeting before and/or right after the event.
My medication was stolen by my loved one in the past. What should I do about medications in the home?
Again, talk with your loved one about your concerns; and, together, develop a safety plan,
which addresses them. Agree on how you will handle medications that you or another family
member must have access to, for example, such medications might be stored in a locked
safe or at a neighbor’s house.
Our religion is very important to us. What about communion?
Alcoholics and addicts should not receive any communion containing alcohol. Talk with your
priest or minister about this, and he/she will be able to make appropriate accommodations
for your loved one.
What should I do in the event of a relapse?
Access your local support, your Al-Anon group, and your individual or family therapist.
Encourage your loved one to contact his/her recovery network (sponsor, monitor,
addictionologist, therapist, etc).
Are there other ways I can be supportive?
Be open to, and willing to, follow these guidelines and suggestions. If couples or family
therapy is recommended, participate. Support your loved one’s aftercare plan (meetings,
therapy, return visits, etc.). If you have questions or concerns, contact your family
counselor. And, just as important as anything else, take care of yourself.
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