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Red Flags
Everyone always learns something new at TRC, and I am not the exception...although there was a time I thought I was.
During family week Dr. Talbot told my wife and me to meet him in his office. After introducing my wife to Dr. Talbot, he very kindly asked me to leave the room. Though feeling a little disgruntled, I patiently waited outside. Little did I know at that time that the conversation Dr. Talbot had with my wife that day would serve as the foundation that would help save my life and my marriage. Dr. Talbott introduced my wife to the concept of "red flags."
Red flags is a code that both my wife and I use to alert one another when a situation either of us is dealing with is cause for concern. When I find myself in a situation that I should not be in that makes me uncomfortable (i.e., a party involving drinking), I simply turn to my wife and let her know that "my red flags are up." Immediately upon hearing this, she will grab her purse, attach herself to my arm and out the door we head.
On the flip side, if she alerts me that "her red flags are up," this indicates to me that my actions are not representative of the recovery program that I should be working. In such an instance, I go to the nearest restroom, sit on the commode and go through the 3rd Step Prayer until I get myself back into a place where I am representing my program of recovery in a way I can be proud of.
To be quite honest, there have been times when my wife has sent me back to the restroom to repeat this process until I get myself back where I should be. All of this is done without anger toward one another, and we have both agreed to respect each other's view of where the other person is in any situation. This simple but well-executed plan works for both Alcoholics Anonymous* and Al-Anon**.
With love and respect,
Johnny W.
*Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a twelve step fellowship for recovering alcoholics
**Al-Anon is a twelve step recovery fellowship (based on AA’s twelve steps) for friends and families of alcoholics regardless of whether the alcoholic is in recovery or not.
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